Proud

I had a wonderful talk with a empowering woman today. She helped me remember where my heart is. That I am a kind, loving person who deserves love from all others. I encompass empathy like no other and maybe that's why it's easy for me to forgive, easy for me to let things go that others wouldn't. I often hide my feelings or use a  immature way of letting them out, but as I grow and better myself I can see that writing is my outlet. If words cannot be spoken for one reason or another I can release myself into a dribble of non sense that wraps around me like a warm blanket.

My girls often tell me that I'm their hero, and it holds me to a standard of grace and dignity for them. I am proud of myself and of all my accomplishments, and for the first time I have realized that doesn't mean conceit, it's ok to be proud. My photography is another outlet that has been there for me for the past 14 years, it goes hand and hand with my writing. I need it. I recently took some amazing shots that I would otherwise criticize, but I didn't. I did a good job, compared to what I've done in the years before I've come a long way. Stephen who often only sees a picture even saw the beauty in them, I love that they build me up and give me pride when I don't have any. But I love that I'm finding that on my own, that I can now validate myself as well.

I feel like I'm finally finding my way beyond being a mom and wife. I feel like I'm getting to know myself and actually liking what I find there. This is huge for me, I've always had very low self esteem. I'm setting a example of love and forgiveness for myself so that my girls will grow up to be confident, so that they won't doubt themselves at every turn. For once I feel strong, so today I'm truly proud to be me.